I hope people saw the media today about a woman who has posted her cheating husband's ' size small' condom wrapper on Ebay with 'the Tart's knickers'.
http://www.news.com.au/story/0,23599,24198119-13762,00.html
This is gold - way to go sister!
Here's the auction:
http://cgi.ebay.com.au/EMPTY-CONDOM-PACKET-A-PHOTO-OF-THE-TARTS-KNICKERS_W0QQitemZ250280309940QQihZ015QQcategoryZ1469QQssPageNameZWDVWQQrdZ1QQcmdZViewItem
This has made my Monday.
Monday, August 18, 2008
Sunday, August 17, 2008
Restaurant Review - Cream
Cream, cnr Royal and Plain St, East Perth
view the menu here http://www.bestrestaurants.com.au/restaurants/WA-Perth-cream.aspx
I should start out by saying I love Cream. We've been there a few times, and each time it impresses me. Here's why:
1. This is a professional restaurant. When you book, you get a choice of sittings - the early or the late. No fannying about. Maria (manager) will call you the day before to confirm your booking. The staff are superb - friendly, attentive and knowledgable. By far the best service I've ever had in Perth. No uniforms, but it's obvious who the staff are. Our waitress was great and very good at adding a personal touch without imposing.
2. Wine list. I'm not sure if Natasha C is still doing the wine list, but it's an impressive mix of Australian and international wines, chosen because they are good. None of this " please Fosters, write me a wine list with all your generic products" crap. Good stuff available by the glass too. And it's somewhere you can find a reasonably priced bottle of good wine that will match your meal and not get 'tude if you don't buy the Pol/Grange/whatever. Anywhere that has an Ata Rangi Pinot on the list gets snaps from me!
3. Food. I'll go into what we ordered in a bit, but basically all the food is good because the person who makes it loves what they do. It's my understanding that chef and owner John Mead makes almost everything himself from scratch, and it shows. Attention to detail and love of food = great small, focused menu. We had the New Norcia bread with pate and onion chutney to start - a perfect match of textures and flavours. The onion chutney was slightly sweet and the pate was mooth and creamy. We also shared an entree - a perfect puffy souffle and lightly grilled scallops. I had a special for main - duck pie. Very sexy buttery pastry with duck and fruit (possibly fig) filling on top of mash and greens. Not huge, but perfectly filling. I was sorry when it was gone, because it was so good.
No room for dessert, unfortunately, but they all looked really attractive.
4. Decor and atmosphere - Cream is quite small, but it feels intimate rather than crowded. There's a small bar at the front ( small small - seats about 6 people) so we went for a cocktail before dinner. The cocktails were well made - you can see, it's an open bar- and simply presented. The lighting is low without feeling dim and it's not loud, possibly because of the furry walls. The walls are really cool, and match the colour scheme (red, maroon, brown wood) and lighting. It's welcoming and stylish without being over-designed or pretentious.
5. The total bill - I liked this part too. Not so much paying it, obviously, but the prices are reflective of what you get. The money is well spent because I always leave so happy and full and think about how good the food is for days afterward. I think any of the Meads 'restaurants' and certainly the Raffles would be more expensive for two mains, shared entree and bread plus a bottle of wine and two cocktails, and the quality of their food is below par. I won't even talk about their staff.
The only things I didn't like:
The toilets. Out the side door, down the apartment block corridor (ugly tiles and all-over beige), around the corner and into the shared loos. Not so atmospheric. Plus a bit of a lengthy stretch if you've had a few in heels.
Taxi! The staff were super-efficient in calling our taxi and it arrived straight away, so I wasn't quite past my "I'm so full if I move I might slosh" place. Then there was a bit of a mix up where we got charged for another table and this then had to get reversed. This is the only reason Cream gets 9/10 rather than 10.
Get thee to Cream. However it may ruin you for sub-standard food, service and wine lists forever... and then you'd have to keep going back.
view the menu here http://www.bestrestaurants.com.au/restaurants/WA-Perth-cream.aspx
I should start out by saying I love Cream. We've been there a few times, and each time it impresses me. Here's why:
1. This is a professional restaurant. When you book, you get a choice of sittings - the early or the late. No fannying about. Maria (manager) will call you the day before to confirm your booking. The staff are superb - friendly, attentive and knowledgable. By far the best service I've ever had in Perth. No uniforms, but it's obvious who the staff are. Our waitress was great and very good at adding a personal touch without imposing.
2. Wine list. I'm not sure if Natasha C is still doing the wine list, but it's an impressive mix of Australian and international wines, chosen because they are good. None of this " please Fosters, write me a wine list with all your generic products" crap. Good stuff available by the glass too. And it's somewhere you can find a reasonably priced bottle of good wine that will match your meal and not get 'tude if you don't buy the Pol/Grange/whatever. Anywhere that has an Ata Rangi Pinot on the list gets snaps from me!
3. Food. I'll go into what we ordered in a bit, but basically all the food is good because the person who makes it loves what they do. It's my understanding that chef and owner John Mead makes almost everything himself from scratch, and it shows. Attention to detail and love of food = great small, focused menu. We had the New Norcia bread with pate and onion chutney to start - a perfect match of textures and flavours. The onion chutney was slightly sweet and the pate was mooth and creamy. We also shared an entree - a perfect puffy souffle and lightly grilled scallops. I had a special for main - duck pie. Very sexy buttery pastry with duck and fruit (possibly fig) filling on top of mash and greens. Not huge, but perfectly filling. I was sorry when it was gone, because it was so good.
No room for dessert, unfortunately, but they all looked really attractive.
4. Decor and atmosphere - Cream is quite small, but it feels intimate rather than crowded. There's a small bar at the front ( small small - seats about 6 people) so we went for a cocktail before dinner. The cocktails were well made - you can see, it's an open bar- and simply presented. The lighting is low without feeling dim and it's not loud, possibly because of the furry walls. The walls are really cool, and match the colour scheme (red, maroon, brown wood) and lighting. It's welcoming and stylish without being over-designed or pretentious.
5. The total bill - I liked this part too. Not so much paying it, obviously, but the prices are reflective of what you get. The money is well spent because I always leave so happy and full and think about how good the food is for days afterward. I think any of the Meads 'restaurants' and certainly the Raffles would be more expensive for two mains, shared entree and bread plus a bottle of wine and two cocktails, and the quality of their food is below par. I won't even talk about their staff.
The only things I didn't like:
The toilets. Out the side door, down the apartment block corridor (ugly tiles and all-over beige), around the corner and into the shared loos. Not so atmospheric. Plus a bit of a lengthy stretch if you've had a few in heels.
Taxi! The staff were super-efficient in calling our taxi and it arrived straight away, so I wasn't quite past my "I'm so full if I move I might slosh" place. Then there was a bit of a mix up where we got charged for another table and this then had to get reversed. This is the only reason Cream gets 9/10 rather than 10.
Get thee to Cream. However it may ruin you for sub-standard food, service and wine lists forever... and then you'd have to keep going back.
Just plain weird...
Two more offenders from this week, posted because I had a real "wtf?" moment when I read them.
I'm not a beautician, so correct me, but I've never heard of a reiki facial; and
Step 8 - Walla!
I almost died of embarrassment because this one is in my workplace, but then recoved as it's from Lavazza, home of crap coffee. (That's me who'd corrected it, in case you're wondering.) I think the word that the individual who made the flyer was searching for was ' voila'. Note to all dullards: don't try to use impressive words (or words at all, really, that one's pretty easy) because you'll only upset people and look stupid.
A.L.F Special Mention and Inaugural Trophy
Special mention to Miss Field, going above and beyond with the naming and shaming apostrophe-abusing signs:
50's & 60's (!!!) wrong.
50's & 60's (!!!) wrong.
Thanks for that one; it's nice to know someone else feels my pain.
I'd also like to give an inaugural idiot trophy to the person who produced the above offending item - it's not clear from the photo, but what this is is a street sign which is printed with the correct business name (Retro Betty's, all fine) with a handwritten overlay of blue plastic that sits over the printed sign. You can see through the overlay, and the shop has a big sign out front as well, both with the apostrophe, and the Friday F**Kwit who wrote it still left out the apostrophe. I mean, seriously. Especially given that the offender was most likely an employee, who should therefore know the business name, albeit an employee who gets lost on the way to work because they can't even remember the name of their employer!
A.L.F strikes again
I've begun developing a theory that there's only a certain number of apostrophes around to be used; this explains why some people have too many and some too few- they're just trying to get through their quota or don't have enough, and some people got more than their fair share and others got ripped off.
This is quite half-baked but I'm grasping at straws here; people are just unbelievably dumb, but I can only say that so many times.
And this winners this week are:
Kim Long, with no shop or specials, particularly not today;
A day with no specials (no owner mentioned);
Spa's; and
my favourite, because it's so random - DVD's and MIC's. Why wouldn't that also be ink's, toner's and scanner's?
Wednesday, August 13, 2008
Apostrophe Liberation Front #3
Random apostrophes adrift on the internet - being used and abused!
http://www.elmars.com.au/
a place where you can get reasonably good food (upcoming review) and also take "photo's"
http://www.alwayswin.optus.com.au/flash/index.cfm?4
Should you feel the need, review the "T's and C's" (presumably terms and conditions)
http://www.bloch.com.au/shop/p-358-draped-pointes.aspx
"Pointe's" !!!!! Uncalled for abuse of pointe shoes as well as an apostrophe, but strangely enough correct in the web address.
http://www.elmars.com.au/
a place where you can get reasonably good food (upcoming review) and also take "photo's"
http://www.alwayswin.optus.com.au/flash/index.cfm?4
Should you feel the need, review the "T's and C's" (presumably terms and conditions)
http://www.bloch.com.au/shop/p-358-draped-pointes.aspx
"Pointe's" !!!!! Uncalled for abuse of pointe shoes as well as an apostrophe, but strangely enough correct in the web address.
Tuesday, August 5, 2008
Calling you people - spell check misses you! #2
1. I think this was meant to be ' sleeves'. 3 'e's. Maybe someone was rationing their vowels?
2. I checked, this business isn't called " Tennants", like the surname of the actor who plays the current Doctor. And obviously bad spelling is nowhere near as cool as somone with a Tardis.
Sunday, August 3, 2008
Calling you people - spell check misses you! #1
Correct spelling provided for simple, stupid, would-be-picked-up-by-spell-check mistakes.
1. Apologise, not " appologise";
2. You're (a contraction of ' you are' ) not "your" (which denotes ownership);
3. Available, not "avaliable".
Seriously people, how hard can it be? The computer checks it for you! Possibly 2 might slip through, but you could read that to yourself and think, "hey, wrong your! Better fix that one up..."
Apostrophe Liberation Front #1.
My manifesto is simple - if you don't know how to use them correctly, learn, or refrain from typing. At all, to anyone. Ever. Particularly me.
To channel my rage, I am posting the incorrect apostrophes I come across. I've been carrying my camera around all week taking pictures. I'm not sure I'll be able to post everything I find because once I added spelling mistakes to my list, I got a lot of photos... so here are the apostrophe f**k ups. In discussion with the family about my photos my dad however made the call of the century with reference to the menu board photo - " but the eggs belong to the bacon!" - and he's right, I think, on a lot of levels. So at least my teeth-grashing and wailing stopped for long enough for someone to make a funny.
But bad grammar isn't funny.
For those who want to find out why these are wrong ( plural, not possessive!) go read Eats, Shoots and Leaves by Lynne Truss. I'm not going to explain, because you should know!
The Prophet - Review
The Prophet, 907a Albany Hwy Victoria Park
Bad things first: Service was initially a bit all over the place. We were greeted as soon as we arrived, but there was a bit of confusion as to which table had been assigned to us. It took ages for the complimentary bread and dip to get to our table and I was a bit miffed to see tables that arrived after us get theirs first. It also took too long for our wine to get opened – the waitress wasn’t carrying a waiter’s friend. All in all service wasn’t that crash hot, but improved over the course of the night. I think we arrived between sittings (we were there at 7.30pm, so smack in the middle of usual sitting times of 6.30pm and 8.30pm).
Onto the good business! One of the things I like the most about this place is the complimentary plate of garlic dip with bread. We ordered a dip (avocado) to start, and a mixed meat plate, arnabeet (fried cauliflower) and chicken livers for mains. I was against ordering so much, but was won over by the very convincing arguments from Daniel of : a) it’s your birthday ; and b) I want to!
The arnabeet came with tahini and a bed of lettuce and tomato, and the dish was just the right mix of tangy, crunchy and smooth. The meat plate had smoky kebabs that were flavorsome and fresh as well as tabbouleh, and the chicken livers were cooked to perfection and the juices were a great seasoning for the rice they came with. Overall the food was just superb. A word of warning – if you don’t like garlic (LOTS of garlic), this is not the place for you. I do, so I was in my happy place. Food here is also super cheap – for the two of us we were full and feeling a bit sick for $45.
Things I would change – if you want the raw meat dish, you have to order in advance but this isn’t on the menu and they don’t tell you this when you book, so if you want it, engaging your psychic powers seems to be the only way to get it. Or pre-ordering before your next visit might work too. Also I would like to be told if it was my first visit about the free dip so I don’t order more food than I could eat. Lastly, it’s cash only, which is handy to know before you go. Book in advance. This is a fantastic place to have cheap good food.
Overall: 7/10. Food on it's own would be 9/10.
Bad things first: Service was initially a bit all over the place. We were greeted as soon as we arrived, but there was a bit of confusion as to which table had been assigned to us. It took ages for the complimentary bread and dip to get to our table and I was a bit miffed to see tables that arrived after us get theirs first. It also took too long for our wine to get opened – the waitress wasn’t carrying a waiter’s friend. All in all service wasn’t that crash hot, but improved over the course of the night. I think we arrived between sittings (we were there at 7.30pm, so smack in the middle of usual sitting times of 6.30pm and 8.30pm).
Onto the good business! One of the things I like the most about this place is the complimentary plate of garlic dip with bread. We ordered a dip (avocado) to start, and a mixed meat plate, arnabeet (fried cauliflower) and chicken livers for mains. I was against ordering so much, but was won over by the very convincing arguments from Daniel of : a) it’s your birthday ; and b) I want to!
The arnabeet came with tahini and a bed of lettuce and tomato, and the dish was just the right mix of tangy, crunchy and smooth. The meat plate had smoky kebabs that were flavorsome and fresh as well as tabbouleh, and the chicken livers were cooked to perfection and the juices were a great seasoning for the rice they came with. Overall the food was just superb. A word of warning – if you don’t like garlic (LOTS of garlic), this is not the place for you. I do, so I was in my happy place. Food here is also super cheap – for the two of us we were full and feeling a bit sick for $45.
Things I would change – if you want the raw meat dish, you have to order in advance but this isn’t on the menu and they don’t tell you this when you book, so if you want it, engaging your psychic powers seems to be the only way to get it. Or pre-ordering before your next visit might work too. Also I would like to be told if it was my first visit about the free dip so I don’t order more food than I could eat. Lastly, it’s cash only, which is handy to know before you go. Book in advance. This is a fantastic place to have cheap good food.
Overall: 7/10. Food on it's own would be 9/10.
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